Is it important to distinguish between immigrants and refugees

Contemplation to the Heart of Darkness - Essay Example However Conrad, as a man who had persevered through numerous difficulties throughout his life even before his eleventh birthday celebration (Papke, 2000), was additionally mindful of the concealed part of the hearts of men. Thought processes going from great to detestable dwell in the human heart, yet are not generally obvious on their appearances. Hearts are extremely private and concealed spots, and the core of a landmass is demonstrated to be regularly as dim as the core of the people who try to enter it. Work is basic to life, and individuals invest so much energy playing out an amazing activities work that they are frequently inseparably attached to the activity. Marlow demonstrates the lengths to which individuals will go to get utilized when he relates that subsequent to approaching men for an occupation and they said 'My dear individual,' and sat idle. At that point would you trust it-I attempted the ladies. I, Charlie Marlow, set the ladies to attempt to find a new line of work (Conrad, 72). His ensuing activity with the Company shows the force that Work can have over people. It is delineated as a one-dimensional and all-encompassing nearness to which the men of the story answer. It is associated with not simply the men who travel on the liners into the African region, yet additionally with the listeners to the story, whose occupations are personally associated with the activity of the Company's machine. Work may likewise be viewed as a machine that drives the haziness of the iv ory business. The way that such a significant number of people must accommodate both themselves and families makes famous what is basically a coldhearted act of de-tusking elephants. The locals who work with the whites participate in this training for having the pay that work gives. This they do, however it infringes upon the sacredness of creature life much similarly that servitude has infringed upon the holiness of human life. However, for work the locals become involved with something of a barbarism that is like those their family include looked inside the previous century. For sailors, the ocean is interchangeable with work, and Conrad has been cited by Papke (2000) as saying, men and ocean interpenetrate, in a manner of speaking - the ocean entering the life of most men and the men knowing something or everything about the ocean. The work enters all aspects of a sailor's life and is associated some way or another with his activities, regardless of whether respectable or dull. In Africa, the work that is finished by the Europeans who enter the domain is as dull as the mainland as it has been portrayed since the beginning. Despite the fact that burglary is disliked in European culture, theft is basically the objective of these legitimate shippers who enter that domain. Of this twofold standard Conrad states, By sky! there is something after all on the planet permitting one man to take a pony while another must not take a gander at a strap (98-99). Reality of these men's deceptive nature is validated in the content. As Marlow goes along the coast and afterward inside the landmass, he happens upon a few examples where the mainland and its occupants are being looted of their assets. The creatures whose tusks give the ivory are in peril on the grounds that the ravenousness of those burglarizing sailors who need their tusks and would see them kick the bucket so as to have the aid that they want. Not exclusively do the European sailors burglarize the elephants of their lives, however they likewise ransack the Africans of the wealth of their own region. This sort of theft is particularly recognizable in the character Kurtz, who under the pretense of entering the African region for exchanging purposes has turn

An evaluation of marketing strategies in international insurance companies, with a view to identifying successful strategies for future use within the industry The WritePass Journal

An assessment of showcasing methodologies in worldwide insurance agencies, with the end goal of distinguishing effective techniques for later use inside the business Writing Review An assessment of promoting techniques in global insurance agencies, with the end goal of distinguishing effective methodologies for later use inside the business , which centers explicitly around promoting techniques utilized in disaster protection organizations with a worldwide methodology, offering applicable data which can conceivably be draw upon for the reasons for this more extensive research. In this proposed paper, the creator will look at the advertising systems utilized by protection administrations to find out which of these promoting methodologies is probably going to bring about the accomplishment of the association and the more extended term factors that will lead into this achievement. It was found in this examination that development was one of the key variables related with effective showcasing methodologies. By taking a gander at the different methodologies, for example, estimating, promoting, improving quality control, individual selling and picture, it was contended in this examination that development expected to consider the item which is being given, yet in addition the methodology taken to drawing in with the business sectors. This perceives giving solid client administrations is frequently an optional promoting technique which is fruitful in its own right, without essentially going down the extra course of publicizing and drawing in with new client gatherings. Other advertising procedures that were perceived as being effective in this paper incorporated the utilization of data innovation as a methods for changing the inner structure and empowering organizations to connect with a more extensive client base without breaking a sweat, just as permitting the organization to expand its utilization of sales’ advancements to draw in the most important clients. Significantly, nonetheless, this paper contends that growing new and inventive thoughts, regardless of whether this be as far as the technique for advertising, or the idea of the items being offered, should be persistently at the front line of the protection business, especially in the present atmosphere where associations are liable to expanded expenses, including extra administrative prerequisites. These recommendations contained inside the paper offer a fascinating purpose of conversation with the end goal of this proposed zone of research as it takes a gander at the hidden ethos o f the system instead of the exact methodology itself. Paper 2 Another intriguing paper for the writing audit is that of Saaty, 2011, which took a gander at the advertising systems utilized by insurance agencies in Saudi Arabia, both as far as their household achievement and as far as making worldwide advances into new markets. This paper takes a gander at the individual methodologies being utilized inside one individual locale and by drawing on an expansive scope of essential clients that and distinguishing the components that at last urge them to connect with a specific association. Saudi Arabia is likewise observed similar to a significant purview, as it is experiencing a sensational time of development and is in this manner urging associations and shoppers to consider better approaches for working and drawing in with their client base. This exploration took a gander at a wide assortment of protection items (dissimilar to the recently distinguished writing that focussed on the life coverage segment as it were). Strangely, this exploration ind icated that elements identifying with administrative and social issues were the well on the way to impact the individual choice regarding which insurance agencies would be picked by the individual buyer. Essentially, anyway the paper likewise demonstrated worry about the general acknowledgment of the need to protect by any means, showing that for a creating area, showcasing techniques need to focus more on the conventional issue related with why safety net providers would be significant in any case. This presents a significant contention that a universal insurance agency should consider the way that a few purviews won't really have a similar want and comprehension identifying with the advantages of protection and along these lines their promoting techniques may should be adjusted, so as to manage this absence of comprehension. It gets obvious, in this manner, that the promoting systems should consider the manner by which the ward itself is probably going to respond to the protection advertise, completely. Destinations and Importance of the Research The protection business is experiencing a sensational time of progress and advancement, with numerous associations confronting expanded expenses because of administrative weights, just as the market getting to some degree soaked in the more evolved districts, especially as purchasers hope to diminish their day by day spending. In light of this, the manner by which worldwide insurance agencies can advance and create in an undeniably serious market happens to specific significance, as the economy hopes to recuperate and to more readily draw in with its client base, just as managing the changing elements inside the economy. There are likewise expanding open doors being made accessible to worldwide association to connect with a more extensive scope of purchasers, frequently using data innovation which gives those extra chances and furthermore extra rivalry, consequently changing the whole powerful of showcasing for the business. The key goal of this examination is to recognize showcasing techniques that a global insurance agency can use furthering its potential benefit while building up itself all the more solidly inside its current ward, yet in addition distinguishes systems that are probably going to be effective when going into new markets. This is seen to be especially significant, because of the way that numerous global organizations might be looking towards entering new purviews that have possibly more prominent chances; accordingly, recognize promoting techniques that will empower these worldwide associations enter these new locales, effectively, is a key goal of this general research proposition. The main target will be to investigate the difficulties being looked by universal insurance agencies, with explicit reference to circumstances that may introduce themselves to build the income base and to enter new markets as a methods for social occasion new clients. This will at that point empower the examination to proceed to take a gander at the business methodologies and showcasing systems which might be proper for accomplishing this point and taking a gander at the general benefits of different various techniques, from the consumer’s perspective. By taking a gander at different various procedures that might be utilized by an insurance agency and recognizing the requests of the exact market that is being focused on, it is foreseen that an appropriate structure would then be able to be recommended for universal insurance agencies, later on. Information Collection Methods Promoting, by its very definition, includes connecting with and urging clients to become (or for sure stay as) clients. Along these lines, it is recommended that the most suitable technique for social affair data is through essential research, concentrating on reviews (polls) and meetings with protection clients. Overviews can be conveyed to an a lot more extensive scope of people, empowering the analyst to gather a lot of information in a moderately short space of time and with generally little expense. This will empower quantitative examination through SPSS or exceed expectations as fitting to offer graphical portrayal. Nonetheless, studies can possibly make troubles with regards to increasing full answers, as people will be urged to give a response to a particular inquiry raised dependent on the arrangement of answers gave which might possibly completely mirror the sentiments of the buyer. By urging the respondent to choose the â€Å"best fit†, this might be an unreasonable impression of the circumstance and could bring about key discoveries going unidentified. It is consequently that meetings will be embraced close by the reviews, to take into account a more noteworthy investigation of key issues and to permit respondents to voice their feelings all the more completely and openly. This strategy will enhance the overview, yet can be hard to create speculations, as every individual is probably going to react somewhat in an unexpected way, accordingly making it harder to break down the outcomes in a quantitative way. By consolidating the two methodologies, it is normal that a more noteworthy comprehension of customer dynamic can be determined. It would then be able to be utilized so as to meet the general goal of this examination. Moral Implications of the Research Care should be taken when undertaking this exploration because of the way that the examination includes gathering a lot of information from people. This implies thought should be offered concerning how close to home information will be made sure about, to guarantee that namelessness will be kept up all through. Any worries in such manner could bring about wrong outcomes. Besides, any meetings with protection administrators should be embraced with namelessness ensured, as people working inside the protection business might be hesitant to give open and straight to the point conversations, if there are any worries that the data being given will be made open, as this could imperil their drawn out profession. At last, this will affect on the precision of the data that will be given. This is especially applicable inside the protection business which is confronting expanding difficulties and is along these lines possibly going to make troubles for those hoping to advance their vocations. In view of this, namelessness and security should be guaranteed to all respondents. References Saaty, A. (2011). Elements Critical in Marketing Strategies of Insurance Companies in Saudi Arabia. Worldwide Journal of Marketing Strategies Vol. 3. Issue 3. Shameem, B., and G

Is Weight Supression Driving Your Binge Eating

Is Weight Supression Driving Your Binge Eating Eating Disorders Symptoms Print Is Weight Suppression Driving Your Binge Eating? By Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD, CEDS facebook twitter linkedin Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD, is a certified eating disorders expert and clinical psychologist who provides cognitive behavioral psychotherapy. Learn about our editorial policy Lauren Muhlheim, PsyD, CEDS Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Steven Gans, MD on January 03, 2018 Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital. Learn about our Medical Review Board Steven Gans, MD Updated on May 12, 2019 Jose Luis Pelaez Inc., Blend Images, Getty Images More in Eating Disorders Symptoms Treatment Diagnosis Awareness and Prevention If you have bulimia nervosa, did you know that being at a weight that is too low for your body could be a problem and that it could be driving your binge eating and other behaviors? Many people are aware that patients with anorexia nervosa need to gain weight in order to recover, but few people are aware that this could also apply to patients with bulimia nervosa. This article will discuss research on the role of previous and current weight on the development and maintenance of bulimia nervosa. What Is Weight Suppression and Why Is It a Problem? Weight suppression is the difference between one’s highest adult body weight and one’s current weight. It can also be thought of as the amount of weight one has lost from a previous high weight, usually in response to dieting. Human bodies are meant to be a variety of shapes and sizes. When a person who is genetically programmed to be in a larger body tries to reduce his or her size to smaller than intended by genetics, binge eating may be the body’s natural defense to avoid death by starvation and return the body to a healthier size for that body. Weight loss, even among healthy people, decreases metabolism and the amount of energy the body burns. It also seems to increase appetite. The hormone leptin, which sends satiety signals to the brain, is believed to play a role in this process. Studies indicate that individuals with high weight suppression appear to have reduced levels of leptin. For these reasons, there is a strong biological predisposition to regain lost weight. Early Research In 1979, Gerald Russell published the seminal paper that first described bulimia nervosa as a variant of anorexia nervosa. In this paper, he noted that weight suppression seemed to play a role in the development of bulimia nervosa. He described these patients as trying to drive their weight below a healthy body weight and, as a result, starting to binge and purge. In Russell’s initial study of 30 patients with bulimia nervosa, 17 had previously met full criteria for anorexia nervosa, including the low weight. Another seven patients had also lost weight but not enough to fit the diagnosis of anorexia nervosa. Every patient but one had experienced at least some weight loss prior to the onset of bulimia nervosa. Despite this early account, prior to the last 10 years, there was not much research on weight suppression. In the last several years, researchers under the direction of Dr.  Michael Lowe, a professor of psychology at Drexel University, have begun to study the impact of current and past weights on eating disorders. Although still in its early stage, this research is helping us to better understand the dangers of weight suppression. Recent Research Research indicates that prior to the onset of their illness, patients with bulimia nervosa often start out at a higher body weight than those with anorexia. As the eating disorder develops, patients with bulimia nervosa seem to lose a significant amount of weight. By the time they present for treatment, they are generally within what is considered a “normal” weight rangeâ€"but crucially, they tend to be well below their highest adult weights. One study measuring the average degree of weight suppression in patients with bulimia found the average amount of weight suppressed was approximately 30 pounds. Greater weight suppression appears to be associated with more bulimic symptoms and a longer length of illness. Greater weight suppression also predicts weight gain in patients with bulimia nervosa both during and after treatment. The role of weight suppression is important because it illustrates that bulimia nervosa is not merely caused by psychological factors, but that there are also complex biological factors at play. Patients with weight suppression and bulimia nervosa who are preoccupied with achieving a lower weight appear to be stuck in a bio-behavioral bind. Weight suppression makes patients with bulimia nervosa more prone to weight gainâ€"but the preoccupation with being thin makes this weight gain highly threatening. Researchers do not yet fully understand the specific factors that make weight suppression problematic. For example, they do not know whether as little as five pounds of weight suppression is problematic, or whether only larger amounts of weight suppression are an issue. They also do not know whether the effects of weight suppression are greater if someone was at a higher weight for a longer  period of time or whether their weight has been suppressed for a longer time. These are among the answers that researchers studying weight suppression hope to be able to answer. What Does This Mean for Patients With Bulimia Nervosa? Juarascio and colleagues (2017) suggest that some patients who are not successfully treated by a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for bulimia nervosa might improve their recovery by gaining weight. It appears that weight gain could reduce the urge to binge and purge. They recommend that clinicians routinely and thoroughly check to see if a patient is currently below their highest weight, and by how much. They also recommend that patients with significant weight suppression and those who gain weight during the initiation of regular eating should receive additional education about the impact of weight suppression on symptoms of bulimia nervosa. They suggest that clinicians educate patients about the fact that over time, dieting very rarely leads to sustained weight loss and often leads to weight gain. Successful treatment for your eating disorder may mean reaching and living at a weight higher than you want. Our genetic body size and shape determines what is healthy and normal. You can be healthy, feel good in and about your body, and enjoy normal eating without forcing your body to fit into a shape that isnt yours.   Self-acceptance can be hard psychological work, but therapists and dietitians who work with patients with eating disorders can help. Keep in mind that the alternative to acceptance may be to continue to binge and purge. Over time, this may, in turn, lead to greater weight gain. Insurers, in their efforts at cost-containment, may cut off treatment prematurely before a patient reaches a weight that is adequate to sustain recovery. You may need to advocate for more treatment for yourself or a loved one. How to Know If Your Weight Is Suppressed Some questions to consider: Is your weight lower than your highest adult weight?Are you preoccupied with thoughts about food?Do you experience episodes of eating in which you eat unusually large amounts of food in a short period of time and feel out of control while doing so?Do you eat impulsivelyâ€"when you haven’t planned toâ€"or engage in emotional eating? If more than one of the above is true, consider seeking help and gaining weight. Getting to a weight that is biologically determined healthy for you, regardless of where that number is on population norms, is usually the healthiest. We do not yet have enough research to know whether you would need to go back to your highest weight, or whether regaining some of the suppressed weight may be sufficient. You may find that weight gain will relieve some preoccupation with food, reduce symptoms of bulimia nervosa, and generally improve the quality of your life. You may also discover that the negative consequences of weight gain that you fear do not materialize. When weight is not suppressed you can more fully enjoy eating a variety of foods without obsessive worry and live life more fully. You can go out for dinner and enjoy a drink, indulge in a cupcake for a coworker’s birthday, and travel to a different region and experience the local cuisine all without accompanying anxiety.

Essay on Pre-K Observation - 1026 Words

I observed in the preschool class for two hours, there were a total of 12 children in the class Most of the kids that are in the preschool class were four years old, but there was one five year old. When I first arrived at the preschool, the kids seemed very shy towards me and they did not seem like they were very sociable. I was a stranger to them, and I would have to guess that all of the children were experiencing a little bit of stranger anxiety. I talked to the teacher about how the children reacted to all â€Å"strangers† She said that the children often become very uneasy. As I sat down to observe the children, I noticed one thing right away. The boys in the group were very wild and rambunctious, and the girls seemed to be shy and†¦show more content†¦some of their reactions were hilarious. I noticed that one child jumped around and screamed that â€Å"he was here, he was here,† and another child was looking around the room trying to find the leprechaun . Overall, I found that most of the kids seemed to have beliefs based on what they sensed to be true, rather than on what would be logic or rational. Language development between the 4 year old children was amazing. There were some grammatical problems that I picked up on throughout the observation. The five year old girl was very good with sentence structure and words. I did notice a lot of the four year old children struggled with prepositions, suffixes, and prefixes. I few sentences I heard were, â€Å"he sitted down on me,† or â€Å"she hitted me with the beaver. I noticed a lot of imitation in the children. I guess I was an adult model for some of the children. I noticed that one child followed me around the room one time when I went to go to the bathroom. He did not go into the bathroom, but I did notice that everything I did when I walked back to the room, he did. The two twin girls that I observed came over to me and started asking me questions, like â€Å"what†™s your name?†, what are you doing?† when I answered the question the two girls would repeat everything that I said. I guess that would be a form of imitation. I also noticed imitation between the kids themselves.Show MoreRelatedA Cross-Sectional Study Was Conducted By Niaki, Moore,909 Words   |  4 Pagesvisited each school weekly so that there were observations conducted on all days of the week in each school. The data collectors identified certain lunch tables to be observed and conducted about 8-10 observations per grade. The data collectors recorded observations including; cafeteria line menu items, foods obtained from other sources, whether and how much food was consumed, and students’ sex and grade (Niaki, Moore, Chen, and Cullen 2017). Observations were taken on lunches chosen by 573 studentsRead MoreObservation of a Preschool Class694 Words   |  3 Pagesï » ¿Observation of Pre-school Dialogue Participants The participants in this study were a university campus laboratory preschool class of 13 children, comprised of 6 girls and 8 boys. The teacher is named Ms. H. The children range in age from 2 to 4. There are 5 minority children in the class (3 girls, 2 boys), one bi-racial child (boy), and all other children are Caucasian. All the children had attended the preschool for a minimum of four months prior to observation. The focus of this observationRead MoreEssay about Case 1 Internal Audit1170 Words   |  5 Pageslocations: * On the job training is the primary method for employees to learn policies and procedures. * An order will come into Pizza Inc. it will be written down on pre-numbered pads. The date, time of call, name, address, phone number, type of crust, and toppings requested are all taken down. 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If the tumor is a mass in shape then k-means algorithm is enough to extract it fromRead MoreThe Challenges Of Educational Technology In K-12 Phystems796 Words   |  4 Pagestheir products or services to promote use and adoption by school decision-makers and teachers, as new products and services enter K-12 ecosystems. As explored in the re view of literature section, the K-12 ecosystem is a complex system with businesses that provide a host of services and products to capitalize on private and public investments to increase technology in K-12 schools. The increased supply of technology by businesses are coupled with an increasing number of schools that maintain a growingRead MoreEssay On Needs Evaluation735 Words   |  3 Pagesteacher observations and report cards, a needs assessment was conducted with the seventh grade students at Hawaii Academy of Arts and Science (Akos Kurz, 2016; Dhuey, 2013). 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Many of these programs are offered both in a private setting and a public setting and are generallyRead More6 STAGES OF MARKETING RESEARCH PROCEDURE1591 Words   |  7 Pagesopportunity for you to use existing knowledge as a starting point and proceed impartially. A simple example will show how the scientific method works. Assume a researcher is performing a marketing research project for a manufacturer of men’s shirts: i) OBSERVATION: The researcher notices some competitors’ sales are increasing and that many competitors have shifted to a new plastic wrapping. ii) FORMULATION OF HYPOTHESES: The researcher assumes his client’s products are of similar quality and that the plasticRead MoreArtificial Neural Network Essay937 Words   |  4 Pagesbroad categories: Image Restoration (Pre-processing); Image Enhancement; and Classification and Information Extraction. Image pre-processing and feature extraction techniques are mandatory for any image based applications. Pre-processing indicates that the same tissue type may have a different scale of signal intensities for different images. Pre-processing functions involve those operations that are normally required prior to the main data analysis . The pre-processed images will have some noiseRead MoreStages Of Children s Development1367 Words   |  6 Pagesyears explains that children are learning to take more initiative. Likewise, this may involve inviting a friend to play or proposing a game of make believe, allowing them to adapt more skills through their preschool years. As you can see, the way pre-school children socially participate has largely to do with their age and developing communication skills as they age. Therefore, social play is correlated with age. In this present study, I examined the different levels of play among preschool children

Preludes and Modernism - 1957 Words

Modernism is a terminology given by historians to literature movement around late nineteenth century. It is a movement in the arts which purpose is to produce art different traditional forms. Its literature aim is to criticize problems of their world. They use specific characteristics implicitly and explicitly; implicitly to send messages to each other or to educated people in authority or explicitly to influence public opinions. â€Å"We are talking about two chronologies. One is the sequence of texts; the other is the sequence of intellectual movements. Such as feminism or such as Marxism which change the way we read texts.† (Armstrong). One of the most influential modernist writers is Thomas Stearns Eliot. His one of many poems Preludes is†¦show more content†¦It focuses on that part of the city and nothing else and the urban part where working class mostly lives. Alliteration of the ‘s’ in â€Å"With smell of steaks in passageways.† (Eliot 9) used to create the sound of heavy labouring. ¬Ã‚ ¬Ã‚ ¬Ã‚ ¬Ã‚ ¬ Metaphor is used in â€Å"The burnt-out ends of smoky days† (Eliot 9) to show that all characters’ life is fading away like smoky days. Finally, personification make â€Å"shower wraps† (Eliot 9), â€Å"evening settles down† (Eliot 9), â€Å"light crept up† (Eliot 10), â€Å"morning comes to consciousness† (Eliot 9) and â€Å"conscience of a blackened street† (Eliot 10). Second, Marxism approach is applicable in this poem and discusses many themes. The world, as the speaker sees it, is classified into social classes. T.S. Eliot comes from a wealthy family and lives in St Louis, Missouri, America in 1888. He sees two sides of St Louis’ streets. On one of them he writes the â€Å"Prelude†. He is the voice of poor. Since poor people cannot speak, being illiterate, he writes instead of them. He writes how society is at his time. People are socially classified. Each social class has its own street. Poverty theme is the most dominant. Working class lives poorly, rents a flat and drinkShow MoreRelatedT.S. Eliot - the Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and Preludes - Modernism1143 Words   |  5 PagesLove Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and Preludes expresses Eliot’s Modernist concerns about the lack of morals and values in modern society through the use of personas within the urban landscape and the urban society. Modern man’s lifestyl e of repetition of trivial tasks and the lack of meaningful things in life is represented and emphasised through the use of alliteration, metaphor, fragmentation and word choice. The urban landscape is employed by Eliot in Preludes to demonstrate the isolated desertionRead MoreAnalysis Of The Poem Preludes : A Modern Craft Essay1524 Words   |  7 PagesPreludes: A Modern Craft Thomas Stearn Eliot (T.S. Eliot), an all-American writer was born into a wealthy family in St. Louis, Missouri in 1888. His father, Henry Ware Eliot, was the president of the Hydraulic-Press Brick Company, and his mother, Charlotte Champe Stearns, wrote poetry and volunteered at the Humanity Club (Bush). Also, his grandfather, William Greenleaf Eliot, founded the Unitarian church who contributed to his most outstanding poem, Preludes, a 4 stanza poem(Bush). Being under theRead MoreAnalysis Of J Alfred Prufrock And Preludes1183 Words   |  5 Pagesmodernistic world. TS Elliot describes the industrialised world in both J Alfred Prufrock and Preludes as a disjointed, dehumanised world where mundane activities are ever-present in people’s lives. Elliot focuses on using the character’s viewpoint through the stream of consciousness as a means of highlighting the major concerns of modernism. His poems J Alfred prufrock and Preludes disclose the major concerns of modernism a ssociated with the backdrop of the bleak, industrialised world, that is social entrapmentRead More T.S Eliot’s Preludes and The Love Song of J.Alfred. Prufrock, are examples1059 Words   |  5 PagesT.S Eliot’s Preludes and The Love Song of J.Alfred. Prufrock, are examples of modernist poetry which illustrate the concerns of modernist poets. Explain how the poetry you have studied reflects some of the major concerns of its context? In your answer refer closely to two poems by T.S. Eliot. T.S Eliot’s Preludes and The Love Song of J.Alfred. Prufrock, are examples of modernist poetry which illustrate the concerns of modernist poets. 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It was created during the modernism period which was a time change in every aspect of music. a dated of diverse responses in exciting and reinterpreting older types of music, novelties that lead to new ways of forming harmonic, melodic, sonic, and rhythmic aspects of music, and changes in aesthetic worldviews in close relation to the larger identifiable period of modernism in the arts of the time. BertaRead MoreSummary Of Schonberg s Exile 1068 Words   |  5 Pagesnew environment, culture, and language may have caused a temporary hiatus in his creative activity, but as a resident of California, Schoenberg contributed to modernism through the interaction of cultures and the talents and skills that he was taught.[x] Schoenberg was a modernist composer and painter, and became a driving force for modernism in the Southern California region where he was one of the first composers to apply the twelve-tone method.[xi] â€Å"During his eighteen years in America, SchoenbergRead MoreAnalysis of John F Kennedys 1961 Inaugural Speech634 Words   |  2 Pageswith invaluable knowledge about human societys actions in past generations and these actions repercussions or ripples of effect these actions have in the future or present day. I am particularly interested in the period in human history wherein modernism was challenged by socialism, manifested in history through the spread of Co mmunism/Socialism in Eastern Europe, Asia, and South America. It was also during this period in the 1960s that the United States became actively engaged in a campaign againstRead MoreWilliam Wordsworth s The World Is Too Much With Us ``966 Words   |  4 Pages I invited William Wordsworth due to his literary works and the influence that he held on literal romanticism. This, he did with published works such as the prelude that was considered by many to be the crowning achievement of English romanticism. Romanticism was a movement that started as a counter to the Industrial Revolution as can be seen in the works of Wordsworth. For example in the poem â€Å"The World is too much with Us†, he states that humanity is losing touch with nature and all it encompassesRead MoreThe Great Gatsby By F. Scott Fitzgerald893 Words   |  4 Pagesreleased. The Great Gatsby, had disappointing sales and didn’t actually shine to fame until Fitzgerald died of a heart attack in 1939 while, ironically, in the process of his unfinished novel, The Love Of the Last Tycoon. The Jazz Age, the happy prelude to one of the worst times in America, The Great Depression. People seemed happier, everyone was rich, or at least had a good sum of money. â€Å"The nightmare that was the Wall Street Crash of October 1929, was inconceivable right up until it happened†

The Twilight Saga 5 Midnight Sun Chapter 15 Free Essays

As I swiftly proceed through the forest I noticed that the sky was still cloudy enough that I wouldn’t catch the attention of any unsuspecting humans until mid-afternoon. I was slightly apprehensive about today’s events. My family had become more encouraging of my decisions surrounding Bella, but the outcome of her fate was still questionable. We will write a custom essay sample on The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun Chapter 15 or any similar topic only for you Order Now Alice had assured me one more time before I left home that Bella would be fine, and that she would still be close, â€Å"just in case.† I knew what I willed her fate to be, but the many outcomes all appeared to be impractical to me. Take her life? Not hardly! Turn her into a vampire so I could keep her? Take her soul? So selfish – or I could leave her human and watch as she out grows me – I sighed. The trees around me were becoming less dense and I was suddenly outside Bella’s house. I advanced to her door, something I had never done before. I had constantly been scaling the walls and climbing in and out through the window when entering this house. It was relatively quiet. It was divulged of any thoughts. I heard buoyant footsteps coming down the stairs. I nimbly knocked on her front door, immediately tense. I listened to her fumble around with the dead bolt, but a second later she flung the door wide open, sending a wave of her heady scent towards me. I wasn’t expecting it so suddenly. I had to move the dry ache of my thirst to the back of my mind, today is about Bella, I reminded myself. I finally gazed at her and noticed that she was wearing a white shirt with a tan sweater and blue jeans. I started laughing because I was wearing something similar. â€Å"Good morning,† I chuckled. â€Å"What’s wrong?† she glanced down at her clothes with panic in her voice. â€Å"We match.† I laughed again. I saw her eyes travel from my collar down to my jeans and she joined in with my laughter. She marched out of the house then, and shut the door behind her, locking it. I turned to walk to her truck, remembering I conceded in our dispute of who would drive today. A cool breeze blew her aroma in my direction and I was instantly grateful that the majority of the day would be spent in the great outdoors, where her scent was not nearly as potent. I turned and looked at her as she walked towards the truck. She had a smug look on her face. â€Å"We made a deal,† she reminded me haughtily as she wrenched herself up into the driver’s side seat. I grimaced. â€Å"Where to?† she asked. â€Å"Put your seat belt on ?C I’m nervous already.† I commanded, even though I was mostly teasing. There is no accident I couldn’t protect her from. She gave me a menacing look and reached over her shoulder and pulled the seat belt across her lap and buckled herself in. She sighed, â€Å"Where to?† she repeated. â€Å"Take the one-oh-one north.† I instructed. The heat coming from the vents in the truck sent her rich scent flooding into my lungs. The constant dull pain that her scent caused me was suddenly fierce. I stared at her face while she drove, a reminder that the most exquisite soul was next to me and that I needed to immediately cage the monster. I began planning the day in my head. If I knew what was to be expected, I would be less likely to make a mistake. That’s right, no mistakes today! The problem with my planning was that I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it to the meadow before the day ended because of how slow her truck was. â€Å"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before night fall?† I teased, hoping it would encourage a faster pace. â€Å"This truck is old enough to be your car’s grandfather ?C have some respect.† She retorted. I continued to look fixedly at her. The anticipation of being all alone with Bella in the most peaceful meadow was causing a different type of monster to rear its head up now; infatuation maybe? It was electricity that was flowing through me now, preparing to be freed at a moment’s touch. We were about to approach our next turn, â€Å"Turn right on the one-ten,† I instructed. She complied silently. â€Å"Now we drive until the pavement ends.† I smiled, thinking about how close we were to being by ourselves. Some would consider our time now to mean ‘alone’, but my mind was abundantly full of the never ending humming and buzzing of thoughts. The meadow, my little slice of heaven, was one of the few places where I was able to give my mind some peace. Bella’s face turned curious, â€Å"and what’s there, at the pavements end?† she asked. â€Å"A trail.† â€Å"We’re hiking?† she asked with panic in her tone. â€Å"Is that a problem?† â€Å"No,† she lied. â€Å"Don’t worry, it is only five miles or so, and we’re in no hurry.† Hoping my words would calm her. I could understand her panic though; she couldn’t walk across a room without tripping, falling, or running into something. The woods must seem like a mine field to her. She had nothing to worry about though, if she were to trip, I would gladly save her from hitting the ground. It would be so easy to place my hand lightly, gently, under her elbow as I helped her through the slippery forest floor. My new desire was pulsing through my skin, sending more electricity through my finger tips. This new – desire – was now adding to the constant pressure in my chest. I fixed my eyes on her face, trying to comprehend the apparent terror in her eyes. Her expression altered numerous times, and instead of internally imploring my mind to finally perceive her thoughts, I decided I would simply make a request. â€Å"What are you thinking?† I beseeched. â€Å"Just wondering where we’re going.† She replied smoothly; she was hiding her fright. I wanted to ease her mind a bit, so I provided a hint, â€Å"It’s a place I like to go when the weather is nice.† I glanced out the window and she followed my gaze. The sky was still cloudy enough that my skin wasn’t emitting rainbows. â€Å"Charlie said it would be warm today,† she mused. Ah, Charlie. I remembered that she refused to tell him about our outing. Had she changed her mind about that? â€Å"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?† I asked. â€Å"Nope,† she said complacently. Of course not. But, she did tell Jessica about us, and the trip ?C hadn’t she? â€Å"But Jessica thinks we’re going to Seattle together?† I asked. If she told Jessica, then I would have to bring her back, for her family and mine. â€Å"No, I told her you canceled on me ?C which is true,† she reminded me. I was suddenly angry. Didn’t she want me to bring her back? She would be willing to follow a killer into the woods, alone, and not tell a single soul. I growled internally. Who would know it was me who didn’t bring her back home? I didn’t want to bring her back and she was eager to tempt me to do just that. The monster began clawing at my chest bones again and I was dangerously irate that she put me in this situation. Hadn’t I suffered enough? I pulled myself together, for the most part, before I responded. â€Å"No one knows you’re with me?† I growled. She looked smug, â€Å"That depends†¦ I assume you told Alice?† she pondered. She thought that Alice knowing would make me want to bring her back? â€Å"That’s very helpful, Bella,† I snapped, but at the sound of her name exiting my lips the electricity flared up and that new creature sent a lump to my throat. This†¦ desire; a longing; ripped through my body. I glared at her then and she was looking out the windshield like the conversation never took place, so nonchalant. Anger suddenly flared again. â€Å"Are you so depressed by Forks that it’s made you suicidal?† I hissed. â€Å"You said it might cause trouble for you†¦ us being together publicly,† she reminded me. Unbelievable! She was worried about my safety, â€Å"So you’re worried about the trouble it might cause me ?C if you don’t come home?† my voice rose on the last word. She never looked away from the road, but nodded her head. She didn’t look at all troubled about this! Unbelievable, I muttered so low she couldn’t understand me. What could she possibly be thinking? Maybe she was sent here from my own personal hell to destroy me! Great – first her scent, then her ever growing presence in my life, and her unspoken thoughts; now she was essentially handing herself over to me on a silver platter. If I hadn’t been continuously worried about my family she would have been dead when I first inhaled her heady scent. Now it was this precious soul in the car that I didn’t want to destroy, and she was making it inconceivably hard not to. She was driving me to her demise. Insane. It was the only word to describe her actions. Maybe masochistic? Bella never took her eyes off the road. She must know that I was infuriated. The road did, though, inevitably end. There was a trail marked by a wooden sign; we would be going the opposite direction. She pulled the truck over, put it in park, and hoped out without one glance in my direction. I was immediately anxious that she didn’t want to spend the rest of the day with me. Did I hurt her feelings? If she left me now ?C would I let her? Would she forgive me? I pulled my sweater off and placed it in the truck. It was unnecessary for me to wear something that was supposed to bring warmth when I was a cold creature. I was secretly hoping that the sun would warm my skin when it eventually appears through the clouds. I shut the door harder then I intended. I turned towards the forest and quietly reminded myself, no mistakes. â€Å"This way,† I called to her. I glanced over my shoulder to see her confused expression, â€Å"The trail?† she asked, terror in her voice. She had removed her sweater too, and it was tied securely around her waist. â€Å"I won’t let you get lost,† I said with a mocking tone. She continued to stare at me without moving. Was she frightened now? I couldn’t tell for sure ?C was she about to run away? Run Bella, run, I thought, then added, stay Bella, stay. She still didn’t move, and I was again asking myself the ever prominent question, what is she thinking? I remembered that the best way to break her from her dejection was to guess what she was thinking. She would correct me if I were wrong, so I asked, â€Å"Do you want to go home?† Pain broke through my voice without my permission. â€Å"No,† she answered while walking towards me until she was close enough that I could feel the warmth of her body wash over me like a tidal wave. Her delectable scent made the monster inside me initiate it’s slow clawing up my throat. I looked in her eyes, and there was still something distressing her. Fear maybe? â€Å"What’s wrong?† I asked, apprehensive. â€Å"I’m not a good hiker,† she looked glum; â€Å"You’ll have to be very patient.† This wasn’t a challenge. â€Å"I can be patient ?C if I make a great effort.† I stared into her eyes and smiled, hoping she would realize that I wasn’t lying. She didn’t look convinced. Maybe she was finally coming to her senses. Was she afraid? Was it really fear I was sensing? Fear, I scoffed internally. â€Å"I’ll take you home,† I assured her. Abruptly she responded, â€Å"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you’d better start leading the way,† she hissed. So it wasn’t fear that I saw, it was anger? Of course, I thought. I stood there frozen for a moment and frowned. I concealed a sigh and started towards the forest. I knew the forest well, and I chose a path that would be easiest for Bella. There were a few places where I had to move branches and hold down ferns to help her pass. When boulders and downed trees were in our path I hesitated only briefly. I didn’t want to offer my hand, still worried that my ice cold skin would repulse her. I concentrated a great deal when I finally reached out to steady her by lifting her by her elbow. I knew if I were to hold any part of her body besides there, my desires would take over and I would bring my cold lips to her soft, warm ones. Each time I helped her, her heart would skip a beat, stutter, falter, and then rapidly pick up in double time. A few times I was worried that her heart had completely stopped. At one moment, I was helping her over a tree when the thought of kissing her sent a rush of desire through my body and I almost dropped her. She didn’t notice. She was concentrating intently on not falling or tripping. After walking in silence for some distance, I decided to distract myself by asking her some more questions. She told me about some of her birthdays with her mother and stories about her grade school teachers. Each time she looked at me her breath sent a rush of longing and electricity through me. I thought of a few more questions, but the funniest answer I heard all day was when I asked her about family pets. â€Å"I have to admit, after killing three fish in a row, I’d given up on the whole institution,† she told me. I laughed so loudly that it echoed through the forest. I didn’t mind being patient with Bella. Every moment spent with her was a blessing. The hours passed and I was holding back the monster inside me and my new found creature, desire. It was easier than I anticipated. How long I could keep them both caged was still a mystery. The sun was beginning to protrude through the tops of the trees. I was feeling a little uneasy about her seeing me in the sunlight. Would that be the moment she decides to leave my world? â€Å"Are we there yet?† Bella asked in mock-rage after several hours of hiking. â€Å"Nearly† I reassured her with a smile, â€Å"Do you see the brightness ahead?† I looked through the dense forest at the bright sunlight beaming through to the opening of a beautiful meadow. I watched her squint her eyes and look impatient. â€Å"Um, should I?† she asked incredulous. I smirked, â€Å"Maybe it’s a bit soon for your eyes.† She looked at me then, â€Å"Time to visit the optometrist,† she grumbled. Like seeing the optometrist would improve her vision. My grin grew wider across my face. I noticed when she saw the light from the meadow. The sun was lighting the grassy floor and beautiful colors were reflecting from the different vegetation. I let her lead the way then, following behind her. I wanted her to enter the meadow first. Abruptly, a lump entered my throat at the thought of letting her see my crystal like skin reflecting in the sunlight. We reached the meadow then. I stopped in the shadows as I watched Bella walk easily into the sunlight. She gazed around with a look of wonder in her eyes. I could see her taking it all in, the flowers, the green grass, and the musical water in the background. She turned then, wondering where I had gone. I stood, once again, at the edge of the sunlight, like I had that time in Port Angeles. Then, I was fenced in by the dark shadows†¦ so limited, but this time I just needed to make that one simple step. Bella stepped towards me then, curiosity flaring in her eyes. I was reluctant to pass this invisible line. I belonged in the shadows, she belonged in the light. She smiled at me then and moved a step closer. She raised her hand in welcome. I wasn’t ready, I put my hand up to stop her before she got to close, and she stopped hesitantly. It was too late, her warmth hit me suddenly and I took in a deep breath. Unthinking, I stepped closer to her, breaking the invisible fence between light and dark. Author’s note: Thank you for the support on this story so far. I feel like with each chapter I become a better writer and if it wasn’t for those of you who have been reading it and reviewing I probably would have never gotten this far! As I stepped into the sunlight my skin instantly absorbed the rays and emitted them back out in a band of colors. I could see my reflection in her deep chocolate eyes and in that moment I became a statue of uneasiness. What would this revelation do to her resolve? Her mouth slightly parted and I could smell her sweet breath on the light breeze. She only hesitated for a second, and then, with deliberate slowness, stepped closer to me, and I could instantly tell it wasn’t because she had an aversion to me, but because she was anxious of what my reaction would be. I moved in that moment, a smile slowly spread across my face. She returned my smile immediately. Neither of us spoke for an immeasurable moment. I couldn’t read her thoughts, but I could clearly read her eyes and her facial expressions. She was dazzled, and so was I. She slid down to the forest floor then, and sat with her arms around her knees. I mirrored her actions and lowered myself to the ground next to her. There were no foreign thoughts in my head at this moment and it was amazingly pleasant. I lay on the ground with my eyes closed. I felt the warm sun on my ice cold skin and hoped that it would warm up my skin so it wouldn’t be abhorrent to the touch. As I laid there in silence, I was breathing in her fragrance. Mixed with the outside air and breeze, her scent was more appealing than it should be. As the silence around us grew, I began composing in my head and singing so quietly that I wasn’t sure if Bella would be able to hear. She couldn’t hear, because she asked after a minute what I was doing. As I lay there, enjoying the quietness of my mind and the divine essence of Bella, I felt something very lightly caress my hand. She was warm and I felt so many emotions at once, desire ?C fear ?C anxiety. My desire won my attention though, but the other emotions were still there in the back of my mind. I opened my eyes then, and my eyes met her face. She was the most exquisite creature I had ever seen. Her brown hair had glittering red tints in it when the sunlight hit it just right and her wide eyes were sparkling. She was staring fixedly at my hand, but moved her gaze to meet mine. She looked hesitant, like she was preparing for a scolding. I smiled then. â€Å"I don’t scare you?† I tried to sound playful, though I was curious. â€Å"No more than usual,† she replied playfully. My smile grew, and I was nearly grinning from ear to ear. She returned my smile and then moved her stroking fingers up my forearm. I could see her hand quiver slightly as she moved her hand back and forth. I closed my eyes then. I didn’t want to look away from her, but my thirst for her touch was growing. Desire was pulsing through my veins. In that moment I pictured grabbing her and holding her to my chest, caressing her back with my hands and pulling her ever closer. I imagined pulling her face into my hands and stroking her cheeks and hair. Desire pulsed through me in waves and I knew she could feel the electricity too. She was still tentative. â€Å"Do you mind?† she inquired. Didn’t she know that she was sending large electric shocks of pleasure through my body? â€Å"No,† I replied, still keeping my eyes shut, afraid that if I were to look upon her, I would make my fantasies a reality, and I couldn’t let that happen. â€Å"You can’t imagine how that feels.† I sighed. She continued to trail her warm fingers across my arm, expanding her search up my arm. I felt the new creature, desire, break through my carefully cultivated fa?ade and divulged into more fantasies. I pictured bringing my lips to her neck, not to take her life, but to kiss lightly. I imagined moving my lips from her neck to her ear where I would whisper how much I loved her. She grabbed my hand lightly with her free hand and was trying to turn it over. My own nature took over and I flipped my hand, palm up, so fast that her fingers froze on my arm and I realized that I made a mistake. No mistakes, I reminded myself. â€Å"Sorry,† I whispered. I briefly caught a glimpse of her face, making sure I was forgiven. I saw that I was, and closed my eyes again then added, â€Å"It’s too easy to be myself with you.† She carefully moved my hand back and forth in hers. She was incredibly warm and electricity was throbbing through me. I imagined bringing my lips down her jaw line and then to her unbelievably warm and delicious lips. I sighed internally at the new creature who had broken through all the barriers I had placed to protect this amazing soul next to me. Was she feeling the same desires? I opened my eyes to try and read her expression. Reflections of rainbows were scattered across her face. She looked peaceful. Not being able to hear her thoughts was still taxing. Instantly, I had to know†¦ â€Å"Tell me what you’re thinking,† I pleaded. Her eyes swiftly met mine. â€Å"It’s still so strange for me, not knowing,† I explained. â€Å"You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time,† she said, her voice acerbic. â€Å"It’s a hard life,† I acknowledged. I willed my mind to hear her thoughts in that moment†¦ even a single sound would quench my ever dying thirst for her knowing mind. I realized then that she hadn’t told me what was on her mind, â€Å"But you didn’t tell me.† She paused for a moment, biting her delicate bottom lip, â€Å"I was wishing I could know what you were thinking†¦Ã¢â‚¬  her voice faltered. I tried to encourage her to continue, â€Å"And?† Her voice accelerated then, â€Å"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn’t afraid.† I was grief-stricken instantaneously. â€Å"I don’t want you to be afraid,† I spoke the words that were undeniable. I kept my voice soft, pleading. She should be afraid though, she should fear this menacing creature in front of her. She spoke then, bringing me out of my dejection, â€Å"Well, that’s not exactly the fear I meant, though that is certainly something to think about.† Without thinking, I propped myself up on my right arm, in a momentum that would have been unsettling to a human, but my Bella didn’t move a centimeter. During my movement, my left hand stayed securely in hers. My action had only placed me but a few inches from her glorious face. Electricity exploded in me and it took every fiber of my being not to move those few extra inches and place my lips to her delicate ones. I stared fixedly at her and she was dazzled. â€Å"What are you afraid of, then?† I wondered. She took a deep breath, and then leaned in, inhaling my scent. I took in the sweet air between us into my lungs, too. I was instantly eager. Ecstasy quickly washed over me and I began to lean closer to place my lips against hers. Before she noticed that I had leaned in too, I did the only thing I could to stop my passion from becoming her death and I fled. I was instantly standing in the shade across the meadow. I tried to leave off any expression that would be readable on my face. I didn’t want her to see the monster that almost broke free. Which one? I asked myself. She looked around until she spotted me and then met my gaze. Her face displayed many emotions until she finally settled on shocked. I immediately felt like reaching into my chest to calm my still heart. I could tell that I had done something to upset her. â€Å"I’m†¦ sorry†¦ Edward,† she whispered. No mistakes, I ordered to myself. I just needed to tame the beast within. The craving for her body was overwhelming. â€Å"Give me a moment,† I implored. I took one ?C two – three deep breaths, hoping to dispel any lingering lust for her blood. I am dangerous, I know she saw that, but I didn’t want her to know this side of me. I looked at her then, keeping her eyes fixed in mine and walked slowly back into the light, a place I knew I didn’t belong. I stopped several feet from her now, trying to bridle my flaming desires. I sank to the ground then, never taking my eyes off Bella. I didn’t want to miss a single expression. I inhaled the air around me, slowly welcoming back her fragrance. I took another breath, just to reassure myself that I could handle this. No mistakes, I reminded myself, though I already knew I had made too many. With our eyes still fixed, I tried to calm her with a smile, â€Å"I am so very sorry.† How do I make her understand how sorry I am? â€Å"Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?† I asked, hoping that she would comprehend what I was trying to explain to her. She nodded once, with just a light twitch of her lips. Was she afraid now? Had I made a mistake so devastating that she would never grace me with her presence again? I could hear how hard her heart was working, trying to get the blood to her body as quickly as possible. I realized then, that I had promised myself that I would show her what I truly am, so she could understand why we shouldn’t be together. My smile turned devilish in the thought of what I was going to show her now. â€Å"I’m the world’s best predator, aren’t I? Everything about me invites you in ?C my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!† I bellowed. I ran around the meadow two times at my normal pace to add to my statement, â€Å"As if you could outrun me,† I laughed sharply. I watched her face, she didn’t seem convinced that I was a monster yet so I grabbed the closest branch from the tree next to me and snapped it in half like I was breaking a twig. I held it in my hand effortlessly and then threw it so it hit another tree and it broke into several pieces. She looked frightened then, and I was immediately thrown into purgatory. I had to calm her somehow! I went to her in that instant, standing only two feet away, frozen so I wouldn’t scare her. â€Å"As if you could fight me off,† I said, tenderly. Her eyes never left mine, and I watched them grow wide during my attempt to persuade her to see the deplorable creature that I am. She didn’t run from me, even after she witnessed the things I could do – the things I could do to her, I added. I felt a lump rise in my throat. She wasn’t running†¦ why wasn’t she running? I could see the terror in her eyes, yet she stayed. I knew how she felt though; I knew I couldn’t leave her either. If she were to stay with me, I couldn’t bare to witness her terrified expression, â€Å"Don’t be afraid,† I said gently, â€Å"I promise†¦Ã¢â‚¬  the words were all wrong, I paused, thinking. How could I promise something I was so unsure of? â€Å"I swear not to hurt you,† I refuted. No mistakes ?C I snapped at my new enemy, desire. I looked at her expression then, and I obviously hadn’t convinced her. â€Å"Don’t be afraid,† I begged in a whisper. I stepped closer, but I gave myself adequate space from her so that I wouldn’t be tempted to grab her around the waist, pull her body close to mine, gently grab her chin and direct her mouth to mine†¦ stop there! While I was spinning my fantasies I realized I was now only a foot away from her face, not knowing how I had gotten there. Keep it together ?C I snapped at myself. Desire had surely taken over. â€Å"Please forgive me,† I begged, â€Å"I can control myself. You caught me off guard. But I’m on my best behavior now.† I tried to persuade myself more than anything. I was beginning to worry about her. Bella hadn’t even whimpered or made a single noise since I decided to show her exactly what a vampire was capable of. Hadn’t I reassured her that I wouldn’t hurt her after my mistake? What else could I say? â€Å"I’m not thirsty today, honestly.† I winked trying to show her she could trust me. She suddenly, and unexpectedly, began laughing. Her silvery bell chime voice shaking slightly. Had she gone mad? Did I finally do something to make her mind snap? Horribly, terrifyingly, I was worried that I had damaged the one person who I loved above all else. â€Å"Are you all right?† I asked delicately. Maybe if I were to try and put us back together again. I placed my hand back in hers and the warmth made me inhale her heady scent while passion and desire started rearing their heads up in approval. She looked down at my hand then, like I had pulled her out of a deep thought. Her eyes slowly rose to meet mine. I was pleading for forgiveness with my eyes, hoping she could see that I was sorry. She looked back at my hand again, like she was checking that it was still there. Suddenly I was shivering in pleasure as her fingers began tracing lines up and down my arm again. She returned her gaze to my face again and smiled apprehensively. Was everything back to normal now? I returned her smile quickly so she would feel reassured. â€Å"So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?† I asked, making sure she realized that I was still sorry for my mistake. â€Å"I honestly can’t remember,† she said, and I was grateful for her response. I smiled but the remorse was still plain on my face. â€Å"I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason.† I reminded her. â€Å"Oh, right,† she paused. â€Å"Well?† I pushed, impatiently. She looked away from me again, and stared fixedly on my hand that she was caressing. She didn’t look back up or respond for several seconds. What are you thinking? I asked internally. I was becoming extremely frustrated. â€Å"How easily frustrated I am,† I sighed then. She returned her gaze to my face, still not responding. I wanted to take her into my arms then, but she saved me from making my mistake by finally responding, â€Å"I was afraid†¦ because, for, well, obvious reasons, I can’t stay with you. And I’m afraid that I’d like to stay with you, much more than I should.† Her eyes left mine then, returning to our hands. Was she finally admitting what I have been trying to convince her of the whole time? That being with me was dangerous†¦ â€Å"Yes,† I agreed, â€Å"That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That’s really not in your best interest.† She frowned then. Was she upset now? What was I doing to this wonderful girl? Will I inevitable kill her? â€Å"I should have left long ago,† I sighed. I was now beginning to think aloud, â€Å"I should leave now. But I don’t know if I can.† She pulled me out of my thoughts, â€Å"I don’t want you to leave,† she whimpered, looking at our hands again. Why did she have to make everything so difficult? Why did she have to want me as absolutely as I wanted her? â€Å"Which is exactly why I should. But don’t worry. I’m essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should,† I said. I crave more than just her company, I crave her body, her blood, her soft sweet lips†¦ â€Å"I’m glad.† â€Å"Don’t be!† I snapped. I pulled my hand from her grip. I couldn’t let her go if she was holding onto me. I showed her what kind of a monster I am and she becomes frightened ?C then I try to reassure her that I won’t hurt her†¦ What is my problem? I moved my gaze from her face to the forest, knowing I couldn’t let her go if I was staring at her, looking into those deep chocolate eyes. â€Å"It’s not only your company I crave. Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else.† I realized I had become harsh, and again, I was nervous that I might have hurt her feelings. I heard her heart beating. It was a heavenly sound. She spoke then, â€Å"I don’t think I understand exactly what you mean ?C by that last part anyway.† I turned to look at her then; I hadn’t expected her to ask this question. I smiled, realizing I never truly explained what her blood does to me. â€Å"How do I explain?† I deliberated, â€Å"And without frightening you again†¦ hmmmm.† My hand was suddenly warm again, and I realized that it had found its way back into her hands. I reached out and placed it there without even giving it my permission. I was distracted immediately, â€Å"That’s amazingly pleasant, the warmth.† I sighed. I began thinking of how I could explain what her blood does to me. What could I say that would make it not sound like I was fighting to not drink her blood every second I was around her? It’s true, the monster has been clawing less, but that is because my desires to possess her in other ways had become forefront in my mind. Maybe a food analogy? â€Å"You know how everyone enjoys different flavors?† I asked, â€Å"Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?† She nodded, and I decided that maybe food wasn’t the best way to explain this, â€Å"Sorry about the food analogy ?C I couldn’t think of another way to explain.† She smiled and I returned it. I mulled over how to explain this craving I have, â€Å"You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he’d gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now, let’s say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac ?C and filled the room with its warm aroma ?C how do you think he would fare then?† I tried to explain. I stared fixedly at her then, waiting for her to understand. Alcohol was such a weak comparison. How her blood could ever compare to something so flagrant. At that moment, a light breeze enhanced what I was thinking. Her scent continued to leave a dry dull ache in my throat. She still hadn’t answered. â€Å"Maybe that’s not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead.† I decided. I had never drank alcohol or did any type of drug, those things do nothing for me, but I do know what these things could do to a human. My degrees in medicine helped me understand these types of addictions, but my addiction to Bella was still no comparison. â€Å"So what you’re saying is, I’m your brand of heroin?† she asked playfully. She always knew what to say to lift my spirits. I smiled at her, â€Å"Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.† â€Å"Does that happen often?† she asked me. It doesn’t happen often, I have only seen it too clearly in Emmett’s mind what happened when he crossed paths with someone who smelled as delicious as Bella does to me. I didn’t know how to answer her question without making her fear me more, but maybe she needed another dose of fear, â€Å"I spoke to my brothers about it.† I told her. I looked away from her as I spoke, not wanting to see her reaction to what I was about to tell her, â€Å"To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He’s the most recent to join our family. It’s a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn’t had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor.† I inclined my head in her direction, hoping she would understand I was sorry that I would have to tell her the rest, â€Å"Sorry.† I murmured. â€Å"I don’t mind. Please don’t worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That’s the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can,† she commanded me. Silly Bella, I’m always worried about your well being, even your mental health, I thought. I gulped in some of the air around us. Her scent went rushing down my throat and filled my lungs with a burning hunger, emphasizing my explanation, â€Å"So Jasper wasn’t sure if he’d ever come across someone who was as,† I hesitated, making sure I’d pick a word that wouldn’t scare her, â€Å"appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other.† â€Å"And for you?† â€Å"Never,† I responded. We were both silent then. What was she thinking now? â€Å"What did Emmett do?† she asked. I wished she hadn’t asked this question. I clenched my teeth as I remembered what happened just as clearly as Emmett had when he was telling me about his experiences. Of course, the humans didn’t survive. Bella will live, I promised myself, because I knew I couldn’t live without her now. â€Å"I guess I know,† she said, taking the burden off my shoulders. I looked at her then, wishing she would understand that I didn’t want her fate to be like those other humans, that I loved her and would do everything in my power to protect her. I sighed internally; â€Å"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don’t we?† the thought was wistful. â€Å"What are you asking? My permission?† she hissed acidly, â€Å"I mean, is there no hope then?† she said softly. She spoke openly about her death, like she would have welcomed it if it came from me. How could she possibly think there was no hope? Hadn’t I proven that I was stronger than I was when I first engulfed her fragrance? I was instantly repentant, â€Å"No, no! Of course there’s hope! I mean, of course I won’t†¦Ã¢â‚¬  take your life, I added mentally. I was gazing into her wide eyes. I wanted to explain to her that I was different then my brother. I just wanted her to understand that there was hope. â€Å"It’s different for us. Emmet†¦ these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn’t as†¦ practiced, as careful, as he is now.† I watched her expressions. She was in deep thought. She bit at her lower lip and instantly I wondered what her lower lip would taste like. She broke through my fantasy before it got out of control, â€Å"So if we’d met†¦ oh, in a dark alley or something†¦Ã¢â‚¬  she left the sentence hanging. I answered without thinking, â€Å"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and – † I realized I was about to tell her that I thought about snapping all of their necks and saving her for last so I could enjoy her warm blood alone. I decided to leave some details out, â€Å"When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn’t been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.† I paused, looking into the trees. A scowl ever present on my face by the choice of our topic. I glanced at her and I could see that she was remembering that first meeting, too. â€Å"You must have thought I was possessed,† I said grimly. â€Å"I couldn’t understand why. How you could hate me so quickly†¦Ã¢â‚¬  she trailed off. â€Å"To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin†¦ I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow†¦Ã¢â‚¬  the memory bit at my cold heart. Bella’s lips had parted then, a little gasp of horror etched into her skin. â€Å"You would have come,† I told her. And she would have. The way Bella flocks towards danger, it would have been very easy. I remembered how I had planned to take her as soon as I got her by myself and grimaced internally. â€Å"Without a doubt,† she replied I removed my eyes from her face then, and frowned down at our hands. I was remembering that first day, â€Å"And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there ?C in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there ?C so easily dealt with.† I felt her tremble and was immediately concerned that I had said too much. Her eyes were blank, like she was remembering something awful, and she trembled again. I was instantly angry with myself for ever making her feel that way. My behavior that first day was something I have tried to forget, but my mind is not like a human’s, I retain every last detail of every moment. She didn’t speak. â€Å"But I resisted. I don’t know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn’t smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home ?C I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong ?C and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving.† I explained to her. Of all the things I did that day after I had inhaled the most delicious blood ever, fleeing was the only one I was satisfied with. If I hadn’t, surely she would be dead ?C my eyes crimson. I continued my story, â€Å"I traded cars with him ?C he had a full tank of gas and I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t dare go home, to face Esme. She wouldn’t have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn’t necessary†¦ By the next morning I was in Alaska,† chagrin was etched in my face. I know it was weak to run away, but what else could I have done? Bella sat there, frozen, enveloped in my story. I continued, â€Å"I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances†¦ but I was homesick. I hated knowing I’d upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I’d dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl† ?C I smiled at the fact that I ever thought her insignificant because she was the most significant thing in my world, â€Å"to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I peered into the forest then, remembering how my family surrounded me my first day back at school, afraid I’d still kill her. Bella was speechless. Her fingers were still slowly moving up and down my arm. Telling her this story now, I suddenly felt free. I wanted to explain this to her since the first time I came back to school, to explain the reasons for loathing her so much that first day. I wanted Bella to be acquainted with everything about me. I continued, â€Å"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human, I was arrogant about it.† â€Å"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn’t simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn’t used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica’s mind†¦ her mind isn’t very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn’t know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating,† I frowned, trying once more to make my mind explore hers with no luck. â€Å"I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions†¦ and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair and the scent would stun me again†¦ Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment ?C because if I hadn’t saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don’t think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, ‘Not her.'† I closed my eyes then, remembering that fateful day; the van rushing towards her, me running to save her. I remembered how I was very afraid I had hurt her†¦ and I remember it was the first time I had held her in my arms, securely to my chest. I was craving to hold her to me again. Bella pulled me from my distraction, â€Å"In the hospital?† she asked. My eyes met hers then, â€Å"I was appalled. I couldn’t believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power ?C you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you.† I felt a jolt of pain at the thought, and I felt Bella shiver too, â€Å"But it had the opposite effect,† I told her quickly, trying to reassure her, â€Å"I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time†¦ the worst fight we’ve ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice,† of course, Alice was thinking I would turn her. I frowned at the thought but continued, â€Å"Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay.† I tried to shake the uneasiness I was feeling, because the only way I would stay, was to stop seeing her, and I knew that there was nothing that would prevent me from seeing her, now. The pain I would endure if I were to leave her was inconceivable. â€Å"All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn’t understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn’t become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair†¦ it hit me as hard as the very first day.† My eyes found hers then. My lungs took in the air around us, and the scent was the most delicious fragrant. I took in one more gulp of air and continued, hoping I hadn’t scared her off, â€Å"And for all that, I’d have fared better if I had exposed us all that first moment, than if now, here ?C with no witnesses and nothing to stop me ?C I were to hurt you.† I was still irritated at the fact that she hadn’t told a single soul that she was spending the day with me. â€Å"Why?† she asked. I didn’t understand why she had to ask, didn’t she know that it would cause me physical pain to hurt her now, that I loved her more than my own existence? â€Å"Isabella.† I said, letting her know that I was being nothing but serious by saying her full name. I stared into her eyes then, and my hand came up and I carefully ruffled her hair with my free hand. The current of electricity was now going in one hand and out the other, being released and zapping again with our touches, like we were meant to be joined together. â€Å"Bella, I couldn’t live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don’t know how it’s tortured me.† I looked down, away from her gaze because I was abashed. I didn’t want the words to exit my mouth, but she had to know, â€Å"The thought of you, still, white, cold†¦ to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses†¦it would be unendurable.† I returned my gaze to her eyes then, â€Å"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.† At the sound of my words, a craving burst through my chest and it wasn’t for her blood, it was for her soul. I wanted to hold this precious soul close to me and never let go. To protect it from anything and everything that would harm it. I continued to stare fixedly upon her face, she had looked down, securing my hand in hers†¦ reaffirming that she felt the same way. She spoke then, â€Å"You already know how I feel, of course. I’m here†¦ which roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you.† Her lips turned down then, â€Å"I’m an idiot.† â€Å"You are an idiot,† I agreed, but I couldn’t help but laugh. She met my gaze then and joined in with my laughter. My cold dead heart squeezed in that moment. I felt eager to pull our bodies together, to intertwine them. After everything I confessed today, she still wanted to be with me, she was continually saying yes to me. At that moment, I wanted to confess my feelings for her. I wanted to bring her close to my body and whisper what she meant to me. I finally spoke, â€Å"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb†¦,† I whispered. She looked away then and her cheeks began to flush. â€Å"What a stupid lamb,† she sighed. â€Å"What a sick masochistic lion.† I murmured. I had wondered if she were masochistic before, about not telling anyone we were together today and realized it was me who gained gratification from pain, not her. Every breath, every touch†¦ it was exceedingly painful and fantastic. Every moment of pain I was feeling was pleasurable because I was able to be with her. I continued to seek her out and deny myself a touch. I was the only one who was masochistic here. â€Å"Why†¦?† Bella asked, not finishing her question. She had paused, like she wasn’t sure how to finish. Ah, what was she thinking now? I smiled at her expression, â€Å"Yes?† â€Å"Tell me why you ran from me before.† She pleaded. My lips began to turn down then, â€Å"You know why.† â€Å"No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? I’ll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn’t do. This for example† she caressed my hand then and the warmth sent electricity up my spine and down to my toes, â€Å"seems to be all right.† My smile returned. She wanted to make things easier for me because she wanted to be with me. Even after we leave this meadow, she was planning on staying with me. Would I ever get use to this wonderful creature? She needed to understand though, that there wasn’t anything she did to make me want to take her life, it was strictly on how delicious she smelled. â€Å"You didn’t do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault.† â€Å"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you.† She explained. â€Å"Well†¦Ã¢â‚¬  honestly, everything she did made it difficult for me. Her scent ?C her attachment to me – her unreadable thoughts – how she was constantly needing me to save her, it all made it difficult. â€Å"It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness†¦I wasn’t expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat.† I was immediately aware that I almost exposed how much I craved everything about her. I looked at her then, making sure I hadn’t scared her with what little I told her. â€Å"Okay then,† she replied breezily. She tucked her neck in then, â€Å"No throat exposure.† She said seriously. My laugh was instantaneous. She didn’t understand what I was trying to say, â€Å"No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else.† I raised my hand then, trying to prove a point, and placed my hand gently on her soft, warm, neck. In that moment, I pictured doing several things; bringing her closer to me and caressing her striking face, running my hand up through her hair so I could lightly pull her to my lips, bringing my nose to her neck and smell her from her neck to her ear†¦ but I resisted. â€Å"You see, perfectly fine.† I said. I felt her blood pulsing under my palm and her breath coming faster and blowing sweetly into my face. The scent, the sound, it was so appealing. Eagerness ran through me and I was instantly excited. She began to blush a light red color that set her eyes and lips glowing richly with desire. â€Å"The blush on your cheeks is lovely,† I whispered. That insatiable creature, desire, refused to be caged at this point and took over my body. I released my hand from her grasp lightly and watched her hands fall limply into her lap. I reached up; slowly, deliberately gentle to place my hand on her cheek. I held her warm, precious face, in between my hands. I filled my lungs with her luscious scent, and it only sent electricity through my body now, being released slowly into her sweet cheeks from my palms. My passion for her was making me greedy. â€Å"Be very still,† I whispered. I looked deep into her eyes and leaned in to kiss her, to bring my lips to hers and lick her warm skin, but abruptly I changed my mind, not wanting to tempt myself anymore then I already was. I placed my cheek against her neck. It fit there, like it belonged. I didn’t know what I was doing, but ecstasy was quickly filling my veins. I continued to breathe in her aroma, and decided I needed a better whiff of what was driving me to crave more and more. I let my hands slide from her neck, just in case I was to make a mistake during my inability to re-cage my desires and snap it. I slowly brought my face closer to her collarbone and my nose lightly brushed her skin. She trembled then. The thought of what I was doing to her sent spasms of pleasurable electricity through my body and I inhaled one quick breath and held it for only a second longer than normal before releasing the air. The fragrance left a dull ache in my throat, but it was second to my new desires now. I continued to m ove my head and finally rested against her chest, making sure that each touch was calculated so I wouldn’t damage her. Her heart was still racing under the tender membrane of her skin. â€Å"Ah,† I sighed. I continued to listen to her heart. Sometimes it skipped a beat, and a few times it stopped all together. After an immeasurable moment her pulse slowed, and I realized in that moment that it was the most significant sound in my life. She never moved, but all too soon I was releasing her. I had brought her to me and didn’t hurt her. â€Å"It won’t be so hard again,† I said with resolution. â€Å"Was that very hard for you?† she asked. â€Å"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?† I asked, still curious if I were what she really wanted, if what I did was something she wanted. â€Å"No, it wasn’t bad†¦for me.† She said timidly. I grinned. Of course it wasn’t hard for her†¦and I know it wasn’t bad, either. â€Å"You know what I mean.† She said ruefully, and then smiled. My face was warm from being against her for so long, â€Å"Here,† I said, placing her hand against my cheek, â€Å"Do you feel how warm it is?† Electricity flowed through our touch. Suddenly, she whispered, â€Å"Don’t move.† I froze. I closed my eyes then, and settled into being a statue. I could smell the air being stirred close to my face and suddenly she was touching my cheek, her warm hand rubbing up and down my face, like she had been doing with my arm. I wanted to pull her into my chest, and I wanted to push her away. I didn’t want to do something I would regret and she was making it amazingly hard to say no to her now. Her finger tips moved from my chin to my eyelids. Her fingers traced around my eyes, down my nose and then she reached my lips. Pleasure washed over me. The bliss of her touch had me begging for more. I parted my lips then, sucking in the air of the warm aroma that was her hand. She dropped her hand then, this time I was instantly upset, wanting her to continue. I opened my eyes and she looked into them. Her pulse picked up again. â€Å"I wish†¦I wish you could feel the†¦ complexity†¦the confusion†¦I feel. That you could understand,† I whispered. I reached up to gently move a strand of her hair away from her face. I remembered when Mike had done this, she seemed repulsed. Now, she was just as eager as I was. â€Å"Tell me,† she barely made a noise, it was mostly a wisp of a breath. â€Å"I don’t think I can. I’ve told you, on the one hand, the hunger ?C the thirst ?C that deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though,† I grinned half heartily, â€Å"as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can’t empathize completely. But†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I brought my fingers to her lips and watched her shiver under my touch, a shiver of pleasure, emphasizing my next words, â€Å"There are other hungers. Hungers I don’t even understand, that are foreign to me.† She responded quickly, â€Å"I may understand that better than you think.† Did she understand? There was no way she could understand my feelings, but maybe she did, maybe it is because it is so new to me that I think she wasn’t feeling them too. Maybe this was something that was more human than vampire. â€Å"I’m not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?† â€Å"For me?† she asked, but answered before I could tell her to continue, â€Å"No, never. Never before this.† I held her hands securely in mine, making sure that I was gentle; constantly afraid I would use too much force and break her. â€Å"I don’t know how to be close to you.† I confessed, â€Å"I don’t know if I can.† She took charge then, slowly moving her face closer to mine. She kept her eyes on mine until she couldn’t see me anymore. She had placed her head against my chest now. I continued to breathe slowly. â€Å"This is enough,† she sighed. Before I understood my own actions, desire reared up and took control. I wrapped my arms around her, enveloping her, making sure my grip was not too strong, but was secure enough to show her that she could count on me to protect her. I brought my face to her hair and took in a large breath or her heady scent. Thirst broke free then, but the two creatures, hunger and desire fought, and desire won. â€Å"You’re better at this than you give yourself credit for,† she noted. â€Å"I have human instincts ?C they may be buried deep, but they’re there.† I explained to her. My desire was refusing to let her go, and she didn’t struggle against my tender grasp. After several long, but not long enough, moments, she sighed. I looked to the forest and realized the sun slanted at a different angle. â€Å"You have to go,† I told her. â€Å"I thought you couldn’t read my mind,† she mocked. â€Å"It’s getting clearer,† I responded playfully, my lips turning up. I released her, only to grasp her shoulders, â€Å"Can I show you something?† I asked. I wanted her to understand me more, and one way to do that was to show her exactly how I travel. â€Å"I’ll show you how I travel in the forest.† She looked apprehensive, â€Å"Don’t worry, you’ll be safe, and we’ll get to your truck much faster.† I grinned widely and I heard her heart skip a beat. She looked at me then, a smile in her voice, â€Å"Will you turn into a bat?† she asked. I laughed so loud that I was sure it could have been heard for some distance. â€Å"Like I haven’t heard that one before!† I scoffed. â€Å"Right, I’m sure you get that all the time,† she replied, still playful. â€Å"Come on, little coward, climb on my back.† I suppressed a laugh. Her eyes became wide and she hesitated. I became impatient and grabbed for her, making sure I was gentle. Her heart beat speed up and I could smell her pulse hammering. I placed her on my back and she engulfed me. He body wrapped around me and I could feel the heat emitting from her. She embraced me fiercely. â€Å"I’m a bit heavier than your average backpack,† she cautioned. She was light as a feather to me, almost like she wasn’t there, but she was, because I could feel her warmth and her beating pulse. â€Å"Hah!† I rolled my eyes then. This day had turned out better than I have ever believed imaginable. I hadn’t hurt her, or killed her, instead her scent was becoming less sensitive and I had been able to let my desires take control and I held her in my arms, I caressed her face and brought my mouth so close to the base of her neck without biting. I grabbed her hand that was wrapped tightly around my neck and pressed her palm into my nose, inhaling as deeply as possible. The ache burned in my throat. I was still thirsting for her blood, but desire bounded up and out my mouth, â€Å"Easier all the time.† I took off through the forest. How to cite The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun Chapter 15, Essay examples